Feeling Like The Green Ogre

I watched the movie Shrek like a bazillion times when my son was young. While watching the same scenes over and over wore me down, I loved having the cuddle time and it is full of good laughs. This past few weeks, the conversation Shrek and Donkey have about layers has been in my head.

My journey from corporate America to self-employed coach has been rich with layers: moving from shedding my old ones of corporate speak, the book-every-moment-of-the-day obsession, needing to talk to be valued, to adding new ones of learning, reflection, listening and self-care. And as those who know me well, I tend to want to do everything at once, to which my dear friend reminded me, "just let it all build". The layering that happens as we learn and change is so rich, and it was a helpful pause to notice that if I learn something, making it real and letting it firm up before I add the next learning or program or book will help it solidify as a permanent layer.

As I attended a coaching training last month, that concept of layering was so strong. Learning the science and methodology from legendary coaching masters, then layering it with coaching practice and hands-on application. I appreciate it more now than I ever have - rushing through and cramming knowledge in doesn't enable the layering to really settle.

During the training, I realized as I was being coached that some of the layers in my personal life were crumbling too. Old perceptions/stories about people ("are they really an ogre?"), how I thought I was showing up ("maybe I'm an ogre"), hurts or issues that were preventing me from moving on with people I care about.  Not dealing with them meant I was stuck, and like most people, I don't like 'stuck'. So, I took a risk with someone to work on rebuilding our layer, and to my delight, she's been open and compassionate in working to strengthen it together. We've got a lot of work to do, but I love that we are both willing and optimistic.

And in honor of Shrek, maybe we should go celebrate our step with some layers, though I think a celebration with parfait is better than one with onions.